Peculiar Questions
by VolumeofForgottenLore
Summary: A story in which Raito pesters L with very reasonable questions, but L see's them as nothing but annoyances.


A/N: I wrote this cuz I feel like a failure at life

A/N: I wrote this cuz I feel like a failure at life. I currently have 10 unfinished fics (3 of them are chaptered) and I have yet to find an inspiration to keep me going. Or it could be that next week I'll be busting my ass with tests on top of tests, but whatever. This is my first Death Note fic. Be gentle.

Disclaimer: Own Death Note, I do not.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes Raito-kun?"

"Do you eat anything other than sweets?"

L stared at the teenage boy with a blank face, trying to compute the words that his ears had received, but his brain had yet to understand. He sat in his peculiar position in his chair, staring at the many television screens in front of him. In his hand was a bowl of strawberry ice cream, complete with sugar cubes, chocolate and strawberry syrup, whipped cream, three cherries, and the occasional Hershey kiss tossed into the mix. Before Raito had asked such a strange question, his hand was on a journey to his mouth, spoon in hand and a small mountain of sugary goodness waiting to explore the endless cavern known as L's mouth. How dare Raito insinuate that L would even think of eating anything else. Unless…unless the boy didn't phrase his question properly. That must be it.

"Would Raito-kun care to rephrase his question?"

Raito blanched. The world's greatest detective, the solver of unsolvable mysteries, _L_, did not understand a simple question. What was there not to understand?

"Beside your dietary intake of glucose, corn syrup, high fructose and other such sugars, do you eat anything else? Proteins? Starches? Vitamins?" Raito stated with exasperation.

"…I take daily vitamin supplements if that is what Raito-kun's question is referring to." L then took bite out of his ice cream.

Raito hung his head. It was obvious that the man did not even take note that there were other foods in the world that did not contain sugar. Raito looked at L licking his spoon in a lovingly manner, and came to the conclusion that the insomniac wouldn't have cared to know that there were other foods in the world.

#

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes Raito-kun?"

"Do you ever sleep?"

Once again, L stared at the teenage boy with a blank face. They were still sitting in front of the mountain of televisions, however, Raito had pulled up a futon from somewhere and was laying on it, intent to work just as much as L. He would prove the world's greatest detective wrong. He would prove that he wasn't Kira (which he was) and that L was wrong in suspecting him (which he was not). But after noticing the ravens strange sleeping pattern, he found it hard to even compete. Did the man ever sleep?

L was currently looking through some files in his lap. They were pictures of the murder victims before and after they died. There was also the information on when and where they died. But of course, Raito-kun had to go ask such a trivial question.

"A person cannot function after a certain amount of time without sleep. The average person can go ten days without sleeping before their organs collapse from exhaustion. I am obviously functioning, therefore I must sleep." L stated and went back to observing his files.

"That's not what I meant." Raito mumbled and looked at the clock. 3:49…a.m.

"Then would Raito-kun care to rephrase his question?" L asked, not looking up from his work.

Raito got the strange sense of déjà-vu. "How many hours a week do you sleep?" That should be the easiest way to put the question.

L looked up at the ceiling and began to nibble on his thumb. How many hours of sleep did he get? There were of course various stages of sleep, ranging from the conscious knowing that it is asleep to the subconscious believing that it is awake when if fact, the brain isn't processing any information, therefore being in a specific stage of sleep. Raito-kun probably means a collective amount of those stages of sleep each week. The boy really needed to stop asking such peculiar questions.

"About…9 hours. Why?"

Raito just deadpanned. That thing over there only slept 9 hours a week? Well, that explains the bags under his eyes. And the sugar thing. He might need to be in a state of constant sugar high to stay awake. Raito then wondered what a fully rested L would be like while he was on a constant sugar high. That did not look…pretty.

"Goodnight, Ryuuzaki."

"Goodnight, Raito-kun."

#

"Ryuuzaki?

"Yes, Raito-kun." L was now growing weary of the pattern that the partners have acquired over the past two days. It was now a part of their routine. Raito would ask a very strange question which would have L puzzling over its implications. Then Raito would suddenly change the question so it would have a different meaning. Then he would dismiss the question all together. Very…odd…and annoying.

"Why do you sit like that?"

"Like what?"

Raito sweat dropped. For the past two days he has been asking L very simple questions, and to a normal bystander, they would be very reasonable questions. L was a very peculiar man, and it would only be human nature to question his persona. L obviously thought that what he was doing was the norm.

"Like that. With your feet bare and pulled up to your body." Raito pointed to L's position in the back of the limo. Sure enough, L have his shoes kicked off, feet perched up on the seat with his hands on his knees.

"Because it is comfortable and because I feel like it." L snapped and turned away, ending the conversation.

#

"Ryuuzaki?"

L let out a harsh exhale of breath. All he wanted to do was go to the store, get what he needed, then get out. But of course, this simple plan of action was interrupted because of Raito-kun's unintelligent questions.

"Yes, Raito-kun?" He grit his teeth and peered over at the many choices of cake batter the super market had to offer.

"Why do you hunch over like tha-…"

"Because I can!"

L then snatched up the first box of cake batter in his line of vision and when to buy it, leaving Raito standing in dazed confusion.

"Touchy."

#

"Ryuuza-…"

"What the hell Raito-kun? What do you want now?"

Raito smirked. "Wanna go out to get some muffins?"

L paused in his next statement. Raito-kun…was asking a sensible question. A question that is easily answered.

"I'm hungry." He then turned towards the door and went out.

Raito followed behind, smirking. It was fun annoying the hell out of the world's greatest detective.


End file.
